My Experience with Capsule Hotels

As I mentioned in my previous post both myself and James had pretty much reached our limits with Hotel Neo and decided to spend our last night in Tokyo in a capsule hotel called “Hotel Dandy”.  I’d heard about capsule hotels before and seen them on documentaries but I had no idea what to expect. To be honest though, at this point, spending a night in a Turkish prison for sex offenders seemed more appealing than sleeping in Hotel Neo. My reasoning for this was that I had already been so thoroughly raped by that abominable institution that anything that could be done to me in Turkish prison would ultimately be a step down and therefore not as bad. It brings me great pleasure therefore to tell you that “Hotel Dandy” was not nearly as bad as Turkish prison, in fact I can almost certainly say it was entirely rape free, which at this point was a bonus that could only be matched by free Wi-Fi…which they had!

What you can expect in a capsule hotel.

As I exited the lift on the sixth floor of a tall, narrow building in the buzzing district of Ueno I was greeted by a rather pleasant scene. Clean carpets and marble floors that stretched to a reception behind which were several clean cut employees wearing waistcoats and bow ties. Men could be seen casually ambling to and from the bar/lounge area in these Japanese style bathrobes called Yukatas. Music was playing gently in the background and there was just a really warm and pleasant atmosphere about the place. I approached the counter nervously, aware of the fact that apart from James who had checked in the day before I was the only foreigner in the place and that people had been refused admission in the past for not speaking enough Japanese. I recited my carefully rehearsed lines and with only a small bit of help from another man in the que I received the key to my locker and the number of my capsule.

Hotel Dandy from the outside

In the lift up to the eighth floor where my capsule was located I was accompanied by a man who can only be described as being fantastically overweight. He was casually wearing his Yukata undone exposing, with pride I might add, his massive hairy stomach to the world or at least the only other person in the lift…me. I should probably mention at this point that this was a men only capsule hotel and as such had a very casual, “gentlemens club” feel to it and although I was very far out of my element I found it extremely enjoyable. I soon found James who was staying in the capsule next to mine.  He gave me a brief run down of what it was like before I climbed the small ladder to enter my capsule.

I must say at this point that my capsule was exactly how I had imagined it. Very small but comfortable and quite well equipped…well more than I expected from what is essentially a glorified coffin. There was a T.V, a radio alarm clock, a blind that I could pull down to give myself some privacy and enough room to sit up which was all I needed. Near my head on the wall was a poster advertising pornographic movies that I presume could be viewed on the television. The fact that each capsule was separated from the corridor by only a blind and the fact that I could already hear other guests snorring became apparent. It also occurred to me that if I could hear snorring then it was more than likely I could hear other unpleasant sounds, the onomatopoeic description of which I shall spare you. Finally as my eyes moved from the pornographic advertisement to my surroundings and then back again it occurred to me that they obviously clean the linen after each guest but I began to wonder how often did they wash the plastic walls. I quickly adjusted myself to ensure that none of my possessions or any parts of my body were in contact with these parts of the capsule.

Deciding it was too early to go to sleep, I made my way down to the seventh floor where the onsen (Japanese style spa) was located.  As I made my way through the Thai style massage parlour I lazily scanned the menus briefly wondering to myself what the Japanese for “Happy Ending” was. I casually glanced over the divider to see a dainty looking Japanese woman (I highly doubt they were actually Thai) driving her elbows into a heavy-set mans pudgey back. Groans and slaps of pleasure were in the air, not all of which I fully recognised nor did I want to recognise. I quickly moved on trying to ignore all the stares I was attracting by being one of only two Caucasian people in the place. I disrobed and entered the onsen. I went through the standard practise of washing and cleaning myself before climbing in o the piping hot bath in between one frail looking “salary man” and another larger sized gentleman both of which gave me slightly perplexed looks. This was an outdoor bath that was located on the roof of the building and as the pleasurably cool breeze blew across my face whipping up steam from the water I gazed out over the glittering Tokyo skyline and felt that wonderfully calm sense of zen that can only be achieved in an onsen wash over me.

The Rooftop Outdoor Onsen in Hotel Dandy

  Although both me and James agreed there was an ever so slightly odd air about the place that was not quite Yakuza but not fully legitimate, we both enjoyed “Hotel Dandy” immensely. The capsule hotel is one of those things that is so odd that I can’t imagine it existing anywhere else but Japan but somehow, like many of Japans other weird creations, it just works. If you ever find yourself in Ueno in need of a reasonably priced place to stay I recommend “Hotel Dandy” if only for the experience which I’m sure would be a pleasurable one.