Working and Acting

It’s difficult to start this post as the truth is I’ve already been working here for several months and have settled into an pattern with it. This means that the virginal blank ignorance I had at the start of the year has been long trampled over with hours upon hours routine and repetition and while I wont be able to make this a “First Impressions of Work” post I think it’s an adequate time to reflect on the past few months.

The first thing that I’ve come to realise is that school is quite a different experience when you go abroad and there’s an even bigger difference when you swap roles with the teacher. It’s been less than 8 months since I graduated and now I find myself in the surreal position of being the person standing at the top of the class dictating work and telling students to pay attention.  I was once told by another Assistant Language Teacher that in order to be a teacher you have to be a competent actor and I think there is quite a bit of truth in that, especially for someone like me. It feels strange to put on a tie and blazer, things I previously assumed to be “adult clothes” , go into a school and be teacher, an unmistakeably “adult” job.  I find myself now play acting to two roles, that of a teacher and that of a responsible adult who is in some cases a role model and at the very least setting an example. The truth is, as I’m getting older bit by bit I’m beginning to understand the idea of being an adult better. A great comedian said before “-not that there is such thing as an adult really. You’re just a tall child holding a beer talking about stuff you know nothing about” and I believe this statement to be very true. When I was younger I would look up at adults and assume their way of thinking or their view on reality was somehow different or superior to my own but as I’m getting closer and closer to being one of these so called “adults” nothing has changed, at least nothing meaningful about how I view reality. I’ve become more level headed and can verbalise myself better but that’s all. So I’m left thinking “…is this it!?”, is this the level of maturity that is exhibited by people who have children,  people who are doctors or government officials; people who actually matter? Don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not playing humanity down and nor am I playing myself up but it feels strange to be an adult in an adult job surrounded by other adults who are quite older than me but not that different. More educated and seasoned in their respective professions? Yes. But a million miles away? No. I can’t help but shake the feeling if I was put into the body of a forty something year old and told to get on with it, I would be able to do so with very few issues. This again leaves me thinking “…is this it!?”.